Talking about Today’s Relationships & Divorce Rates;
I saw a post recently – a picture of a couple apparently taken in the 1900s. Both stood apart as though they were in a handshake pose. The author wondered why back in the days there were no visible romance among couples yet divorce was rare, while in present days, pictures of couples adorn the social media in apparent public display of affection, but divorce rates continue to soar.
Here’s my comment: Because today’s woman wants it flashy, appealing to the public and perhaps intimidating to her peers. Today’s man understands that it only takes cash and sweet words to woo a woman, so it’s become a constant bet of who grabs the attention of the most beautiful, popular, flashy or rich woman. But real marriage is a different ball game. It requires unseen support, inner love, patience, and in most cases devoid of financial/material benefits. Who today is ready for the vow “better or worse”?
Times have changed, yet we must return to certain values if we expect any better in the institution of marriage. Women must acknowledge the leadership of the man in the home as ordained by God irrespective of financial or social status. God said to Adam; “I’ll make you a Helper”, not Boss, not Partner, not Mate, God’s original creation of woman was to bring comfort to the man, through companionship. But man (Adam) started to fail when instead of listening to his creator, he lost control (lust) and chose to listen to the woman God gave him. Woman (Eve) chose to focus on the flashy things of life (the forbidden fruit), and refused to take on the role assigned to her when she was made from one of man’s ribs.
Perhaps, our early parents understood these errors and failure of first man and woman, and tried to make amends by working hard to preserve the original purpose for marriage (Man being the head, thinker, risk-taker and provider, while Woman becomes man’s comforter, homemaker, raising the children and helping the family undertakings grow and bear more fruits).
Today, both men and women have abandoned their responsibilities. Therefore, until we all return to those values that made marriage what it should be, relationships and marriages shall continue to serve as mere contracts for making of babies, attracting better jobs, and living better lives off the sweat of innocents souls. I am not sure 90% of those in marriages and relationships today still have the moral rights to complain about cheating or infidelity. We are all guilty, and until we accept it, divorce has come to stay as a qualifying certificate to move to higher degrees.
“Man love your wife as Christ loves the church – Respect her, consult her before taking major decisions that could affect her. Woman, honor your husband for God made him Lord over you – Comfort him, and seek his approval for any major step you wish to take, pay more attention to him than your children because he is the protector of the entire family”. Truth is bitter, it’s hard to obey the rules, but the rules were set to protect the institution and make it functional. You can’t run a diesel engine on water and expect acceleration. Let materials or social status not define our disposition/roles in our relationships.
May God help us all to find a direction that leads to everlasting happiness.
Dr. Martins E. Ogbu